Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Shouldn't making friends as adults be easier?

Since when did making friends seem like dating? Since I'm not in school anymore, I suppose. It seems like by the time most people are adults, they have the friends they want and they don't really want anymore. Sure we still make friends we can consider "ok" friends, you know the Facebook friend who you have a good time with at get togethers/parties/events, but never really make the effort to hang out. But I find it is rare to make new "good" friends at this juncture in our lives. Plus, everyone seems really busy.

Anyway, what spawned this train of thought is there is this girl I know and for some reason I really want to be friends with her. She seems like a fun and super nice person who would be a good person to have in your life, you know? Our babies could even play together (after they arrive, of course) because they will be pretty close in age. Based on Facebook posts, we also seem to have a lot in common as far interests go.

However...every time I think about this, I come up with the following list and end up talking myself out of it:

1. Other people already know she's super nice and fun and she probably already has a TON of friends.
2. She seems really cool and I don't ever think of myself that way at all, so I would maybe end up feeling like the "extra," like the Judy Greer to her leading lady in pretty much any movie Judy Greer is in.
3. She seems like a really good person and I'm kinda gossipy and snarky sometimes so I think she would think I was not a good person.
4. I feel like if we didn't naturally become great friends in a relaxed and unforced setting, anything else would seem forced and awkward and I would get nervous and totally turn her against ever wanting to be my friend. Even my Facebook friend.
5. She seems busy and I am busy (because we are grown-ups and that's what happens), so I'm afraid the conversation would go something like this: "Hey, you seem like someone I want to be friends with. We should hang out!" "Yeah, sure that sounds like fun!" And then nothing would ever come of it. (Which I suppose is better than "Hey we should hang out sometime!" "Um, I'm busy that day...").
6. What if we do get together and we discover our husbands don't really get along, then what? That could seriously cut into any get-to-know you time and we would eventually stop hanging out because we want to spend time with our families instead.

I like to think I have my share of good friends, so maybe I should just be thankful. Or maybe I'm really over thinking the whole thing and you can't have too many friends to support you in life...? Besides... I can't remember the last time I had a girls night!!

1 comment:

  1. Amen, and amen. I have thought/said all of these things myself! I feel ya!