Thursday, June 4, 2015

So I finally watched Star Wars...

I've been putting off this post for a long time. I don't know why. Maybe because I'm afraid of the possible backlash I'm about to receive? Maybe because I'm about to weigh in on something that has, quite possibly, the most rabid fan base ever? Well, here it goes...
Star Wars first hit theaters in 1977, followed by two more installments in 1980 and 1983.  I was born in 1984, so you could see why this wasn't necessarily on my radar. By the time I was old enough to understand, Star Wars was so ingrained in pop culture, I never really felt the need to see it. People would look at me like I had three heads whenever I mentioned that I'd never seen a single Star Wars movie. "You should just watch it." They'd tell me. "It's something you should see at least once."
Fine, people. You win. 
I finally watched it a few months ago.  All of them. For the record, I watched them in the following order: 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3 because apparently that is the "right" way to watch them. And here's my take-away:
I don't get it. I suppose they are fine movies, but I don't really understand the level of CRAZY fans have over these movies. Maybe if I had seen them when they were first out? I'm sure the special effects were super advanced at the time, but watching it now? Eh... and the acting isn't great, the dialogue isn't great.  I made a list of thoughts I had while watching the movies (in no order):
* I get how prequels work, but it really bothers me that the first 3 start with "episode 4". Why number them at all? It doesn't seem necessary when they all have different titles anyway 

* Why does Yoda sound EXACTLY like Fozzie Bear?  Yes, I understand Frank Oz does the voice for both, but couldn't he have changed it up a bit? I kept waiting for Yoda to say "Wocka-Wocka"

* Aside from that, Yoda is a bad-ass

* Darth Vader never says "Luke, I am your father" I spent 30 years of my life hearing this misquote and I have to say it was a bit of a downer when all he says is "No, I am your father." Also, I could see how this would be a big reveal if you saw it when it first came out. Knowing ahead of time who Darth Vader was sort of took the wind out of the sails of the scene.

* Mark Hamill is a pretty terrible actor

* It really grossed me out when Leia, after finding out she was Luke's sister, said "Somehow I always knew" Um yuck! If you even had an inkling you might be related to him, why were all flirty and kissy? That's gross. 

* I love the bromance between Han Solo & Chewy, but not as much as R2D2 & C3PO

* I feel like all 6 movies could easily be condensed into 1 or 2 movies 

* John Williams' score is brilliant

* WTF is going on in the Jabba the Hutt scene?!?! 

* The scene transitions look like they were done in Power Point

* Um, Storm Troopers are not robots??

* Why do the Clones in Episode 2 look exactly like Storm Troopers? Confusing
* I really like Ewan MacGregor.

* Hayden Christensen has a rapey face. Has he always looked so creepy? Was he that creepy in "Shattered Glass" or.... um, any other movie he's been in. (Guess I haven't seen too many Hayden Christensen movies)  Why was Amadala so into him? He was super creepy and, like, 10 years younger than her. And she was a queen. You could have done much better, Natalie Portman.

* Plot holes big enough to fly a Death Star through at warp speed.  I think this is possibly why George Lucas made the prequels, to fill in some of the plot holes. It didn't work. Plot holes all over the place.
I have a feeling this movie falls into a category I've created called "The Matrix Problem."  I didn't see The Matrix when it first came out, so by the time I got around to seeing it last Fall, I was very unimpressed. The special effects had been done in many other movies since then, either in seriousness or in parody, that I couldn't take it seriously. I really didn't like the movie at all. Maybe if I had seen it when it first came out, I would have viewed it differently.   I love old classic movies (Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, those types), but for some reason, these resonate with me more. Maybe it's because they are more actor driven then special effects driven? And the special effects weren't that special by the time I watched it? I don't know. I do like all kinds of movies, even those with heavy special effects (The new Planet of the Apes series, anyone? It's brilliant). It's not something I have time to ponder. We all like what we like. 
So that's that. I can now say I saw Star Wars and I will probably see the new one coming out in December, but for the most part, I'm good.