Thursday, September 13, 2012

The Two Week Wait...

This a thing, apparently. The message boards, in all their acronym-y glory, call it "TWW" (I had to look it up, as I do all those acronyms: DH, DS, TWW, BFP, BFN, TBO, BD. Seriously, who knows this stuff?) The Two Week wait is the time between when you start ovulating and when you can take a pregnancy test.

And it's torturous.

As you may know, a couple months ago I lost my baby at 6 weeks. It was awful. The good thing is, as far as miscarriages go, it was early and it took care of itself, meaning I didn't have undergo any procedures. My doctor told me I was pretty much the picture of health and we could start again after my next cycle. She then said that could come anytime in the next 3-8 weeks. It goes without saying I was pulling for 3 weeks. My son (DS? Did I get that right?) is 2 1/2 and we are definitely ready for another little blessing in our home. It came 6 weeks later. In the meantime, we were trying really hard not to get pregnant again because you don't want it to happen too soon.

I was really excited when it was time to start trying again. I was also, and still am, extremely anxious. What if we didn't get pregnant this time and we have to do it all over again? What if I do get pregnant this time, but I lose the baby again? It was such a terrible thing to go through, I don't know how I would handle two in a row.

So here I sit and wait. I'm about halfway through my Two Week Wait and all do is sit and try to remember what it was like when I was preggo the first time. When did I start to feel sick? How soon before the test did I feel different? Did I feel different at all or was it later? I realize I don't remember anything! All I can do is have hope and pray that God will do what He knows is best. I can find comfort in that at least...