So here's a random post about dads

So I read this article that a friend shared on Facebook the other day and as I was reading it, something about it really didn't sit right with me. I read for a while and the whole time I was thinking that I really didn't like this woman's story but I couldn't quite figure out what it was. Then I got it.

First off, I will concede that parenting is exhausting. Kids are bundles of energy and the older we get, the less energy we have. The scales are not balanced, but what are you going to do?  But this woman really seems unhinged. She seems like she's really depressed and about to snap. The more I read of her blog, the more I thought she really needs to seek out a licensed therapist. Seriously.

But that isn't what really struck me about the article. What really struck me was that, from the get-go, the premise of the article is that moms need help. Um, isn't that what dads are for? I understand that there are single moms and that isn't what I'm talking about. Single-mom is a whole other category and yes, they do need help.

The woman who wrote this post is not a single mom. She has a husband. Does he do nothing around the house? I get that he has a full-time office job, but that doesn't mean he gets to come home and lounge around. Does he not help her at all? Does he not see that she is physically and mentally burned out to the point of almost beating her children? If he does and isn't helping, then he's an ass. If he genuinely doesn't see it, then she needs to sit him down and tell him that she needs him to contribute. Hey maybe he can take care of the kids for a minute while she gets dinner ready. Or gives one of the other kids a bath. Or puts away the laundry. Or, heck, maybe he can put away the laundry. Maybe he can unload the dishwasher.  I don't understand why he's not helping.

Or maybe he is helping. If that's the case, then why doesn't the article mention that? Why does she completely remove Dad from the equation?

That got me really thinking. Why is Dad so often removed from the equation? Recently Huggies came under some scrutiny because they started an ad campaign starring everyone's favorite cliché: The Clueless Dad. A few dads chimed in and Huggies did a 180 on their campaign. Kudos to them, though, for keeping the Dad angle of the ads, and showing that hey, guess what? Dads aren't complete morons.

Not many other companies have followed suit though. Even consumer products behemoth Amazon.comlaunched a new service a few years ago called "AmazonMOM." Um, why just Mom? Why not AmazonFAMILY?

Yes, I understand that moms are quickly becoming advertisers favorite demographic; studies show they have a lot of purchasing power. Between the rise of the "Mommy-blogger" and the often media-fueled "MommyWars," I think Moms and their roles in the family have become something of a hot topic. Unfortunately, I think Dads role has been overshadowed a bit in the meantime.

I know moms have a so-called "mommy instinct" but dads can have that too. Maybe moms and dads take care of their kids differently, but they do TAKE CARE OF THEM. True story: I work out of the home, my husband works from home. He spends a lot of time with the kids without me around. Guess what? They are both clean, fed and happy by the time I get home at 2:00. Sometimes he even does the dishes and he always takes out the trash. Shocking, right? No. That's what we do. We help each other.  Once I year I go to Vegas for work. He has the kids all weekend. And you wanna know why I don't worry? Because he's their dad and he's not an idiot. One time I was gone and our son got a really bad stomach flu. Did Gary run around like a chicken with his head cut off, freaking out about a sick kid? No, he took JJ to the pediatrician and gave him pedialyte. Oh and did I mention that he had the stomach flu also? I didn't have to hop on the next plane out of there (although I almost did anyway because, come on, that's my baby we're talking about and I'm not made of stone!)

If I'm ever feeling overwhelmed by housework after a long day at the office, guess what I have to do? ASK HIM TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME. A novel concept, I know.  And you know what he does when I ask? HE DOES IT GLADLY!

Sitcoms have a long history of portraying the clueless man who doesn't know the first thing about kids, playing their idiocy for laughs. The news is full of stories of the deadbeat dads who left their families or don't pay child support.  Trust me, I know bad dads. I know there are dads out there who are nothing more than sperm donors, but there are also moms out there who are nothing more than incubators.

I love that moms are getting respect for what they do (working or stay-at-home), but I think we shouldn't be so quick to throw dads under the bus and we should be more willing to give the good ones the credit they deserve, and there are a lot of good ones out there.