Shouldn't making friends as adults be easier?

Since when did making friends seem like dating? Since I'm not in school anymore, I suppose. It seems like by the time most people are adults, they have the friends they want and they don't really want anymore. Sure we still make friends we can consider "ok" friends, you know the Facebook friend who you have a good time with at get togethers/parties/events, but never really make the effort to hang out. But I find it is rare to make new "good" friends at this juncture in our lives. Plus, everyone seems really busy.

Anyway, what spawned this train of thought is there is this girl I know and for some reason I really want to be friends with her. She seems like a fun and super nice person who would be a good person to have in your life, you know? Our babies could even play together (after they arrive, of course) because they will be pretty close in age. Based on Facebook posts, we also seem to have a lot in common as far interests go.

However...every time I think about this, I come up with the following list and end up talking myself out of it:

1. Other people already know she's super nice and fun and she probably already has a TON of friends.
2. She seems really cool and I don't ever think of myself that way at all, so I would maybe end up feeling like the "extra," like the Judy Greer to her leading lady in pretty much any movie Judy Greer is in.
3. She seems like a really good person and I'm kinda gossipy and snarky sometimes so I think she would think I was not a good person.
4. I feel like if we didn't naturally become great friends in a relaxed and unforced setting, anything else would seem forced and awkward and I would get nervous and totally turn her against ever wanting to be my friend. Even my Facebook friend.
5. She seems busy and I am busy (because we are grown-ups and that's what happens), so I'm afraid the conversation would go something like this: "Hey, you seem like someone I want to be friends with. We should hang out!" "Yeah, sure that sounds like fun!" And then nothing would ever come of it. (Which I suppose is better than "Hey we should hang out sometime!" "Um, I'm busy that day...").
6. What if we do get together and we discover our husbands don't really get along, then what? That could seriously cut into any get-to-know you time and we would eventually stop hanging out because we want to spend time with our families instead.

I like to think I have my share of good friends, so maybe I should just be thankful. Or maybe I'm really over thinking the whole thing and you can't have too many friends to support you in life...? Besides... I can't remember the last time I had a girls night!!

Just another perspective on a hot-button issue

1. I am a Christian. I stand firm in my faith and my beliefs.
2. I have no problem whatsoever with gay marriage.
3. I don't think my support of gay marriage undermines or negates my Christian beliefs. I don't think that the "Christian" argument (I put that in quotes because I'm sure that opponents of gay marriage aren't only Christian) is a strong one. I have not heard an argument yet that makes any sense to me or is logical enough to convince that gay marriage is wrong.

"Marriage is between a man and a woman." No marriage is between the two people who entered into the union and no one else. My marriage is between me and my husband. It doesn't mean any less because two men or two women get married. My gay friends' relationships have nothing to do with mine. In fact, my straight friends' relationships have nothing to do with mine either.

"Marriage is a Godly union." If this were truly your reason for not wanting gay marriage, then you would also be protesting Atheists getting married as well as agnostics or any other religion that doesn't believe what you believe. Furthermore, you would also be protesting divorce. This argument is the most hypocritical and I think the one that most discredits the opponent's position.

"Gay people cannot naturally procreate." If you really think the whole purpose of marriage is procreate and raise kids then you need to reevaluate what you think marriage is. Does this mean we shouldn't allow people to get married if they don't have any intention of having kids? What about people who had their kids and raised them and now their children are adults? Is there marriage over now that they are no longer raising kids? What about people who get married at an old age? What about people who, for one reason or another, physically cannot have children? Why aren't we protesting those unions?

I read a blog recently that said, in regards to Christians supporting gay marriage, that they are transforming Biblical teachings to accommodate the culture (in this case, gay marriage) and that by doing so they are supporting a "Choose your Adventure" type of Christianity instead of a Bible Christianity. Excuse me, what? Aren't we already practicing a "choose your adventure" Christianity by not applying the Bible to the current culture? To make it easy, go check out the list of practices punishable by death in Deuteronomy. Some we adhere to (murder. Pretty sure there will never be a culture change that will be ok with this) and others we don't (stoning sons for disobeying their parents). Who is choosing? And why can't we throw the one about men lying with other men into the same category as stoning kids for not listening to their mom and dad?

All that being said, I do stand firmly in my faith and I do try to be respectful to those with a different opinion. All I ask is for the same courtesy towards my beliefs. Thanks to the internet, I've been subjected to a number of quippy memes blasting my religion for one reason or another. I read a news article about the protests in Washington and while a group of gay marriage opponents were kneeling on the ground and praying, a "drag queen" (what the article said) dressed up like Satan and carrying a Christian cross was dancing around them. That seems very counterproductive to the stance he was supposedly representing. I have to say that stuff like that is not only offensive but it is also extremely disrespectful. If you want people to listen to you and have a rational and civil dialogue, then you have to be rational and civil as well. And respectful. It doesn't make sense to call someone hateful and ignorant for disagreeing with your position or belief system when you turn around and act the same way. Not all Christians are Westboro. In fact, most aren't. Just like not all gay people are dancing around in Satan costumes (actually most of the memes I mentioned are from straight people supporting the cause). It isn't fair to group all people into one big bunch and paint them with same brush.

It all comes down to respect and decency for a fellow human being and it goes to both sides of the issue.

My Poor Husband

I have been hijacked by pregnancy hormones, and I gotta say, they are making me moody! One minute I'm fine and the next minute I am just so annoyed by every. little. thing. I don't think I was like this when I was pregnant with JJ, but then again, my husband might remember differently (so do me a favor and don't ask him...)

"Do you want to watch [NCIS, How I Met Your Mother?, New Girl, Once Upon A Time or any of the many, many other shows] on our DVR?" my husband says, innocently.
"Yeah, whatever," I say, complete with eye roll, even though I love the show and of course want to watch it. Apparently just him asking is an annoyance I never saw coming.

But heaven forbid he just pick a show and start watching it; my crazy hormonal induced self would throw an eye-roll at that too. Doesn't he know I have a specific show I want to watch at that particular moment in time? And it is not whatever he just picked, regardless of what it is? Can't Parks and Rec or Modern Family just be on all the time? I want to laugh! Or The Good Wife. It is such good drama! Edge of your seat type stuff! Why isn't that on all the time? And what happened to The Office? It isn't funny anymore and that annoys me too. I don't have time for mediocre TV. And sometimes I just want to watch Friends even though I've seen each episode at least 100 times and it is always on some channel or another, except when stupid Roseanne is on and I do not want to watch that. Dear TV executives I've never met, I'm annoyed by you too.

But it isn't just my poor unsuspecting husband (who really doesn't annoy me as much as my hormones would like me to believe). Much of my job is dealing with other people and I just have no patience right now for people's complaints (especially if they aren't really bad) and overall dumbness. And I could tell you some real doozies of work related stories. But for the sake of my job, I have to keep my mouth shut instead of telling others to shut theirs and keep it to myself.

Until I get home and take it out on my poor husband. And the dog. Sometimes he annoys me too.

But what annoys me today may not annoy me tomorrow. Or an hour from now. So it's anyone's guess, really. Good luck to you all and I hope to be back to my normal, less-crazy/bipolar self sometime after June 24.

So proud: JJ's progress

So I sat down and wrote a blog the other day when I was feeling like super frustrated in my mommy abilities. I was in a place I often go where I blame myself for any perceived short-comings in my child. Don't get me wrong; I love JJ more than anything, but he is behind in his speech and sometimes he's a bit of a spaz and needs to calm down and learn to pay attention and listen to direction and somehow in my mind that is all my fault, but he's amazing and I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. Then I got busy and never posted it. I suppose I probably should have, I mean isn't that what having a blog is for? To be honest about things? In a way, though, I'm glad I didn't post it, because it was just based on my mood that particular day at that particular moment and was not particularly indicative of, well, anything concrete.

Again I suppose that's what this blog is actually about though...

Anyway, in the few days I sat on the original entry--my cooling off period--I was inspired by something else. I don't know if it was a coincidence or if God just smacked me in the back of the head, but I started to see what was happening right before me. Almost daily, JJ's speech is improving and getting better and clearer. He is saying more words at time than he ever has before and my heart leaps when he does it. Just last night we were playing around and my husband was pretending to be asleep. JJ looked at him and said, clear as day, "No sleeping, Daddy! Wake up!" and when we went in the other room he said, "Come with me, Daddy. Come on!" I was so proud in that moment, I couldn't stand it!

JJ's never had a problem really understanding us and what we say, and his ability to soak up information and remember the things he is taught is remarkable. I'm actually a little jealous of that quality because I really think it is going to help him tremendously throughout his schooling, to just be able to remember almost everything he's taught with ease. That is definitely not a quality I had in school! The problem came in his communicating back to us. He said a lot of words one-by-one, but not too clearly and not in sentences or phrases. Over time, the last 5 or so months in particular, he has bloomed in his speech. He is saying more phrases and is pronouncing words more and more clearly.

He still has improving to do (yesterday he got a new train at Grandma's house and when I woke him up from his nap he just said, "Choo choo train. ABCs." He just wanted to show me his train that has ABCs on it.) But my fears about his development are slowing down considerably.

He still a very spirited, independent, fun-loving, friendly, sweet, kind-hearted, funny three-year-old and he is going to be just fine.

Yep, it's a girl :0)

So we found out the gender of our little bundle of joy and we are having a GIRL!!!  After the hubby's oldest brother had two boys and then we had our boy, we were certain that the Weber gene was targeted for male chromosome. We were very excited to find out that a little girl would be joining us. (So excited, I don't even care about the traffic ticket I got on my way to the doctors office! :0)  )



Isn't she sweet??

Before we knew the gender, I must admit that I had mixed feelings about having a girl. Don't get me wrong; I am very happy and I can't wait to meet our little princess, but hear me out. It will be great having a little girl. All the fun toys and the cute clothes. Fun girly activities I haven't been able to do with my son. I've already begun decorating her room in my head and on Pinterest. But then she'll turn 13 and become someone else entirely. There aren't many things worse than a teenage girl. I was one once, so I kinda know. The attitude and the "I hate you"s and the "you ruined my life"s are inevitable. And I am not excited about that. I know she'll grow out of it and I'll do my best to show her love anyway and hopefully raise her as a kind, loving, confident person, but I know there are struggles ahead of me.

 

Also, being a teenage girl these days seems to be a tough thing to do. The pressures they face are different than what boys face. It seems like as soon as they leave the house, they are bombarded with images and words and people telling them they aren't good enough and they need to do this or that and look a certain way. As her mother, I need to undo all that negativity. I need to make sure she knows she is good enough no matter what. It's a lot work and needs to be done daily. This is something I need to prepare myself for, especially since I'm still convincing myself of those same things.

 

Aside from my own, I have a lot of really good parenting role models in my life that I can look to, so I'm very thankful for that. I think that is important. We shouldn't try to do this alone. It takes a village to help each other out.

 

The ultrasound itself was so great. We got to see so much and the doctor gave us a lot of really cool images of our daughter. We even got some video too, so that was really special because we didn't get to that with our son.

 

He did say that my placenta was low, though, which isn't a great thing. He said he could move on its own (and that is what we are praying for. about 90-95% move themselves), but we do need to keep an eye on it and I need to go back in at 34 weeks to check it's placement again. If it hasn't moved or moved to block the cervix, a C section may be needed. So we are definitely praying and praying hard.

 

But for now, let the shopping begin! :0)

 

A little video of our little princess

 

Baby paranoia....

They say you are more relaxed with your second pregnancy because of the whole "been there, done that" thing. I would like to say that, for me at least, this is so far from the truth! For some reason I am quite paranoid about this pregnancy.

At least when I had the "morning" sickness, it was a sign to me that I was in fact preggo. I have been over that for quite some time now, but I'm still at the stage where the baby is too small to feel moving around. I have to say, it really freaks me out. Has anyone felt like this? I mean, I know I'm pregnant. My waist line is a dead giveaway to that! But without the consistent and definite kicks, it's hard for my head to get it.

They say that 2nd timers can feel the baby moving sooner because they know what they are feeling this time. My problem is I honestly don't remember what the initial movements felt like or when I started feeling them. Every once in a while I think I feel the baby moving around in there, but then I don't really know, do I? I start to think I'm making myself believe it. I remember when I was farther along in my pregnancy and the baby was kicking and moving like crazy and there was no doubt it was a human being inside my belly fighting my insides for space (and winning. Especially against my ribs and lungs...). 

I have an ultrasound on Tuesday. The big one. The one where they use the ultra super hi-tech machine and look at all the bones and organs and such. The one where we can find out if we are having another little boy or breaking the Weber trend and finally adding a girl to the mix. I'll just about be at the half-way point and I can't wait to see my little baby again on that monitor. In the meantime, I'll try to concentrate and focus the flutters he or she is making in this temporary little home.

We finally announced! And I'm super sick...

 
 
Well, we finally told our families on Thanksgiving. That was the hardest part, I think, keeping it a secret from my mom and dad. Then we put a picture of the ultra sound on our Christmas card as our big announcement and told all our friends on Facebook (because we all know nothing is official until it is posted on Facebook, right?)

We did all this announcing at the beginning of December. We've since had another ultrasound and the doctor has changed our due date to June 24 because I was measuring bigger. So that means it is highly likely that I will be spending my birthday (June 26) in labor. I'm not big on sharing my birthday (except for with Alison because she was born before me and she's pretty awesome), but I think if I have to share it with my baby, it will be worth it. What a great birthday present! (That doesn't mean you don't have to get me something, dear hubby!)

Just before Christmas, JJ started coughing a lot. Turns out he has bronchitis. Then right after Christmas, I got a cold. A really bad one. I was completely out of commission on Thursday and yesterday and even now I'm writing this in my jammies laying on the couch, where I've been since yesterday. On the plus side I'm writing from super cool purple laptop I got for Christmas!!

Being sick when you are pregnant is the worst because you can't really do anything about it. There are very few medications you can take and I'm not a big eater when I'm sick so I feel like I'm not eating enough for my baby. I'm trying and I'm taking my prenatals, but it is something I do worry about. I slept on the couch all night because 1) I didn't want to get my husband sick and 2) if I had a rough night, I didn't want to keep him up tossing and turning. I will say I feel much better this morning though. I'm still pretty congested and my throat is sore, but I don't feel like I'm dying anymore which is a really good thing.  I'm being very cautious with this pregnancy and trying to follow all the rules as strictly as possible. Last night I did give in and take a Benedryl because it is on my doctor's list of approved medications for congestion. I may or may not take another one tonight, we'll see, but I'm probably going to get some nasal spray because that is also on the list and I've had success with that before (not pregnant).

My next doctor's appointment isn't until December 7 but hopefully it will come soon and I can get some peace of mind that my baby is still OK. I can't help but be paranoid.